I had the pleasure of a deep and enlightening conversation this afternoon. I had someone actually tell me that they see me chasing my dream instead of living it, and they applauded me for it by telling me I could be so much more if I just had a regular job to help pay for it. Really?
My dream is to be happy, write and publish books, not work my ass off at a job that I hate and not be broke. Having the people around me see and accept that as my dream and be proud of and excited for me would be too much to ask. So, I let that part go a while ago. They apparently cannot.
I believe I AM living it. I have money in the bank and in my pocket even after all my bills are paid. I’m not homeless. I own the vehicle I drive. I’m overweight, so I’m obviously not going hungry. I’m single and I spend my days doing something with MY books. I get to see my daughter every day and sometimes we get to do stuff together. That makes me happy!
My life doesn’t look like what other people think it should look like, so obviously I’m not making it and need to do something else. This makes me crazy and pisses me off beyond words. It isn’t the even the fact that they are making assumptions about me and what should make me happy with my own life. It’s that they claim to be my friend so they can have an opinion and make recommendations when they haven’t done a single thing to make my life any different!
They haven’t read a single one of my books. They haven’t bought anything from me. They don’t even follow me on social media so they haven’t even shared anything, but they have a clear belief that it isn’t working for me.
What isn’t working for me is that people, in general, are like this. It isn’t a new experience for me. My own mom handed the first signed copy of the cover of my first published book back to me and told me she didn’t want it because it wasn’t worth anything yet. It’s shitty, but I’m used to it. People have their own ideas of what living their dream looks like and mine doesn’t look like anyone else’s. I’m aware of that and I can’t be more proud of it.
Don’t shit on people’s dreams because their life doesn’t look like what you expect it to when they are successful. Do something to help them get closer to it or don’t, but realize that until you do, your well meaning opinion doesn’t matter. They will do it without you and the only one’s that will really enjoy the rewards are the one’s that have been along for the entire ride, shared in the ups and downs, and supported any way they could.