I’ve learned some really hard lessons over the years, but I’ve not struggled as hard with learning them as much as I have with this lesson right here. Do what needs to be done, even if that means you have to get a “real job”.
There are a million and one reasons why I’ve fought so hard against it. It’s been my motivator for spending 14-18 hours a day sitting at my desk trying to make something, anything, happen. One sale (including a freebie) a week somewhere meant I was succeeding enough. I didn’t have to get a real job.
It’s left me wanting, and wholly at the mercy of others, though. I’m good at living within my means, but my means has been minimal at best. I’ve made that okay. It’s “part of the process” when you are starting/running a business, right? . There is no money for “you” to improve your way of life. It’s minimal.
I’ve ended up in situations that degrade over time because of it. Having to move and nothing to do it with, so I end up in a new situation, depending on someone else to meet my day to day requirements, until something “takes off”. I give them whatever I have left as a contribution, but have nothing to reinvest or put away for when things fall apart again.
I’m left scrambling when I need something more than minimal. Pushing for sales, borrowing, asking for charity or not doing any of it, just bucking down and “working” to create something else that might take off.
I’ve done it because, in my mind, having a “job” meant giving up on the business I have been building for 5 years. That isn’t “life on my terms”. Neither is starving or having to choose between food and having electricity or internet, though. It’s what is happening and something has to change.
My determination peaks when it comes to doing something for the business, but not when it comes to doing something for myself. I set my personal needs aside to “make this work dammit!” Expecting that eventually, something is going to “click” into place and my days of living minimally and dependent on others will finally be over.
It’s not working that way. I’m on the verge of homelessness, again, and I’ve got no net set up. I’ve had to take steps to do something about that, and I can only hope it deploys in time or shortly after so my time being homeless is extremely limited. This is no way to live.
I’ve figured out that my business isn’t going to survive if I don’t start investing more money into it. I don’t have it, and I can’t get it, so I’m going to have to make it. Time to let go of the idea, and it is just an idea, that getting a job means I’ve failed at running a business.
So, I’m changing that belief into Do What Needs to Be Done in order to succeed. In this case, for this moment, it means I need to get a job. I let go of all the “thoughts” that creep in and scream at me that the job is going to interfere with this thing or that thing or counter them with, I’m doing what needs to be done to move forward. For me, and for the business.
The owner of the business dying from malnutrition means no business. Do what needs to be done.
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